FIND THE ONE: GOD’S BLUEPRINT FOR CHOOSING A SPOUSE

INTRODUCTION

Marriage is God’s design, not man’s invention. It was not initiated by human desire, culture, or personal preference—it was established by God Himself. If we want to understand how to find the right person, we must go back to the first marriage in Genesis and see what God put in place before bringing Adam and Eve together.

Adam did not go searching for a wife. God prepared him first, then presented Eve to him at the right time. This shows us that before marriage, there are divine prerequisites that must be in place. If we desire to marry according to God’s will, we must align with His pattern.

In this study, we will explore:

● What Adam had before he got married.

● What Eve had before she met Adam.

● What this teaches us about choosing a spouse today.

1. WHAT GOD GAVE TO ADAM BEFORE MARRIAGE

1. A Relationship with God (Spiritual Foundation) – Genesis 3:8

Before God gave Adam a wife, Adam had a direct relationship with God. He walked with God, heard His voice, and lived in fellowship with Him. A man who does not have a relationship with God cannot lead a marriage in the right direction.

Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

A man must first be rooted in God before seeking a wife. His love for God will determine how he loves his wife and leads his home.

2. A Place (Eden – A Prepared Environment) – Genesis 2:8

God placed Adam in a structured environment where he could grow and function effectively. Adam was not a wanderer—he had a home, a responsibility, and a covering.

A man should be settled and stable before thinking about marriage. A woman should also ensure she is aligning with a man who is positioned properly in life.

3. Work and Responsibility – Genesis 2:15

Before God gave Adam a wife, He gave him work. Adam was commanded to cultivate and care for the Garden of Eden.

Proverbs 24:27 – “Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

Marriage is not for an idle or visionless man. A man must first be diligent, responsible, and purposeful before leading a family.

4. Boundaries and Discipline – Genesis 2:16-17

God set a clear boundary for Adam by commanding him not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This was a test of obedience and self-control.

A man who lacks discipline in his choices, emotions, and lifestyle will struggle to handle the responsibilities of marriage. Marriage requires a man who understands and respects God’s boundaries.

5. Discernment (Clarity on What Was Not Right for Him) – Genesis 2:19-20

Adam examined all the animals but recognized that none of them were suitable companions. He did not force a connection with what was not meant for him.

A man must have the ability to discern who is right for him and not be confused or led by emotions alone. The fact that someone is close to you does not mean they are your God-ordained spouse.

6. A Season of Rest and Trust in God – Genesis 2:21

Before God brought Eve, He put Adam to sleep. This symbolizes rest and trust in God’s timing. Adam was not searching anxiously—he was focused on his purpose, and God did the arranging.

Psalm 37:7 – “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”

Marriage should not be rushed. A man should be content in his purpose, trusting that God will bring the right person at the right time.

2. WHAT GOD DID FOR EVE BEFORE SHE MET ADAM

1. Eve Was Formed by God – Genesis 2:22

Eve’s identity was not in Adam but in God. She was made by God, fashioned with care and purpose. A woman’s identity should not come from being in a relationship but from knowing who she is in God.

Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

2. Eve Was Hidden in God’s Presence

Eve did not go searching for Adam. She was with God until the right time came for her to be presented.

A woman should focus on growing in Christ, not chasing after relationships. God knows how to bring the right person at the right time.

3. Eve Was Designed to Complement Adam (Purpose Alignment) – Genesis 2:18

God called Eve a helper suitable for Adam. This does not mean she was inferior—the word “helper” (ezer kenegdo) is also used to describe God as our helper (Psalm 46:1).

A woman should be a partner in the pursuit of purpose, not just a romantic attachment. Marriage should be based on God’s purpose, not just emotions.

4. Eve Was Brought to Adam by God – Genesis 2:22

It was God who brought Eve to Adam. She did not force herself into his life. God knows the right time and the right way to orchestrate relationships. 

A woman should not manipulate or force relationships—God’s way is always best.

3. FINAL LESSONS

Marriage was God’s idea—not a human invention.

Before marriage, a man must be rooted in God, stable, working, disciplined, and discerning.

Before marriage, a woman must be secure in God, prepared, purpose-driven, and positioned.

Rushing into marriage without God’s preparation leads to disorder.

God brings people together in His own time and way—trust His process.

Psalm 127:1 – “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”